It’s been quite some time now since I have written anything, and for that, my apologies. After returning from Arizona, my time seemed to become not my own. Several things have been going on in my life, and I have either been so busy, with doctors appointments, or running around doing errands that I felt like a chicken running around with my head cut off!
So, let me see if I can try and update you, (and myself) on what has been going on.
When we got back home from our trip, I seemed to be trying to play catch up with my life. Who knew that taking just a week away would cause so much upheaval?! Anyways, when I left to go to Arizona, I had done my best to try and make Tony’ s life as easy as possible. It’s not that he can’t or won’t do these things for himself, he can.
Initially my trip was just going to be for a few days, leaving here on Monday, and coming back home on Thursday. But neither Tony, or my Mom was comfortable with me taking the trip by myself, so I asked my best friend to go with me. Then the trip got extended, as we were going to include going to visit Joanne’ s Mom, and staying with them for a few days. Thus the trip became extended, with us not returning until Sunday.
So I made sure that all the laundry was caught up, house cleaned, dishes done, etc. I knew that just the fact that he would be alone, was most likely cause him stress. (We haven’t been apart since even before Jennifer passed.) And since her passing, he hasn’t been in very good shape. He is anxious even when I am home, so I could only imagine what he would be dealing with, being alone. And, yes there were some very anxious times while I was gone, but as it turned out, they were anxious moments for the both of us.
The week after I got home, I was truly exhausted. I haven’t done any sort of traveling since losing Jennifer, but the trip was complicated due to my recent back surgery. I underestimated how much this little trip would take out of me.
So, now I have caught up with some much needed rest for myself, as well as all the other household chores, and have had some equally needed quality time with my husband, I feel a little more like myself. Well except for the depression. It is still with me.
My family doctor decided to put me on a low dose antidepressant, and I dropped it off at the pharmacy, but haven’t picked it up yet. I also have scheduled my next two appointments with the therapist. One small step at a time I guess.