Tony is worried about my depression. If he comes home, and I am still in bed, I see his tears of worry and pain. He wants me to go to a doctor and be put on some kind of antidepressants. I don’t want that. I have had an experience with these types of meds, after my hysterectomy. I hated how they made me feel.
I felt even further and farther away then myself.
I think I will however, ask his therapist if she will accept me as a patient, desperate from Tony. Perhaps, this is what can help. The sessions that I go to, with Tony, are of course, focused on Tony, as they should be.
But I have had to be the supportive one for him, and perhaps it’s time to begin to focus on myself. To focus on all the emotions that I hide from pretty much everyone, for one reason or another.
I will ask her next week, when we go for Tony’s session.